Going forward

A lot has changed since that day. The day that changed my life forever. The phone call at 2am that I somehow woke up for. To the phone that never rang. I woke up to the bond it seems. From a bond that was physical and verbal that day to a bond that is metaphysical and mental today. Yes a lot has changed.
I got to meet a lot of your friends, relatives and maybe even enemies. There were literally thousands. I couldnt read the paper for many days or watch TV or even think it seems. I gave myself to my work. My only escape from what is reality to what is my reality. (Didnt I join the finance industry to come closer to reality).
I smiled on that day. The day you came to rest. Your birthday passed the school semester ended and I still smiled. I never cried myself to sleep or cried in disbelief. Remembering your beautiful face and smile keeps me going to this day...

futuro comenciao

there are times when words cant truly express how you feel. this is not just "one" of those times. this is probably my hardest one.

that is why this space has been empty for this long. i have finally gathered my thoughts, words and mind to continue on. some might think that mind and thoughts should correspond to the same thing but for the past 3 months it has not been so for me.

my thoughts have been in the past wondering what went wrong. why my life was thrown the biggest curve ball it could ever imagine. the worst strike out ever. why did it happen to me in such a great time of my life. a phone call at 1am that crushes you like you have never felt before.

things taken away from me that were mine. i am being selfish and i deserve it in this case. my inspiration crushed. my love destroyed...


well the only thing i know now is the way it needs to be. the way she would have wanted it to be. to chug along. drink that next beer. meet that new someone? read that new book. listen to that new tune! jump over the edge like you never have before. discover a new body a new sense. learn from your worst mistakes and your best mistakes.

my biggest learning from the past three months has been the fact that there will be times in your life that you are totally weak, vulnerable and just destroyed but you have to just stick it out and do your best because wishing aint fcking getting you anywhere.

falls church

so after 1 month of hecticness I have finally moved into an apt. its wonderful. life is busy and great. couldnt ask for anything more than what i have now.

next chapter please

well another chapter of my life comes to a close. i have stopped counting but it has been quite a few. a new era will start soon. a new city to discover (IAD). more new people to meet. more hands to shake. more people to love. more people discover lifes new journey. if you had to measure my life right now it would be with the different journeys that have been across many continents meeting new people. bring it on. bring it on.

t-31hr

In 31hrs I will be leaving my favorite city to go to my second favorite city. But after 72 hours in my second favorite city I will leave it also to a new city. one I have never been to before to start another adventure. My life has not changed much. Every 6-7 years I move to a totally new city for a long period of time. 24/6 = 4. Starting my 5th location and 4th city. Bring it on...

good to be alive

when you lower the volume on the TV to its lowest you can still here the crackles from it. you have to mute it for it to be totally silent. even then not every channel understands the mute button

my nike armband is falling to pieces and it needs to survive until october.

the old lady across the street got robbed not because people went into her house without her permission. but because she invited them in and then went to perform her religious duties.

people are afraid of everything. of being robbed of hurting themselves. of getting sick. the biggest industry today is the industry of fear. i hope to find a fear also that i can make money off of.

my phone bill went from 50 dollars to 10 dollars in 1 month.

i failed but am ready to take it on again.

i bot a plane ticket and housing seems to cost double in the northeast.

i will talk in phrases from now on. phrases that have nothing to do with the former or latter. phrases that make me happy

its wonderful to be alive. what a day.

a book

so I am reading paulo coehlos book. more like a compilation of his stories and articles and what not and came across one where he talks about shimon peres's speech at the world economic forum.
q. How do we know the exact moment when night ends and day begins?
person 1: when its light enough to enough to tell a sheep from a dog.
person 2: No, when its light enough to tell an olive tree from a fig tree.
q : no! when a stranger approaches, and we think he is our brother, and all conflicts disappear, that is the moment when night ends and day begins.


sounded a lot better last night when I read it but what the heck.